BERLARI

Berlari.

Do you see my smile? Gratefully, you can see. Sorry, if my smile can not bring happiness to you. But, for me, I am happy to give you guys my smile. At least, I can lie to be happy.

Unfortunately, sometimes, I do not feel that. The emptiness is there again. The same thing happens again as a year ago. When I looked for an answer. And the answer was you. At least, even our relationship was so dynamical, but I did not feel empty. I knew that I had you. And now, the feeling to run away from reality is there again. I hate to admit that, but, yeah, I want to go here and there, trying to forget you, trying to feel the pain, so, I will know that it’s wrong. But, it’s a waste. I only feel relax for a while. You still come to my mind and my dream.

It is much better these days, not as heavy as before. Oh no, I don’t know whether actually it’s a next harder step. Back then, I always wanted to see you and so on, and it’s still like that. Seeing you is more relaxing now, the pressure is not that hard, but I know that maybe for both of us, acting like usual is hard. We are still awkward.

I am not in the stage where I want to explain, I already forgive and forget the bad things, maybe because ‘the person’ is not here in real form for a while. But, surprisingly, after I forgive, I still want to go back. Yeah, it is not the unlogical thing again as I think more. I do not have to count and consider it based on your skill or qualification. The whole answer is only I need you. I don’t know why, but, you already fill a space in my heart where can’t be filled by others, included my friends. You, always give me the medicine in unusual form. You, won’t say like, ‘things will be okay, baby’ and so on, but, you always cheered me up by saying things like, ‘yeah eventhough it’s hard, I know you can.’ You brought me to reality and you made me stronger.

As I write this, I finally know how important you are. The hidden feeling, now I can express it sincerely. And the tears, is coming back again. It is too late, since two months ago, almost three months. But, yeah, it is a next stage I have to pass. I am grateful that I can realize it now.

Hi, you, my favorite person. Sorry fot not moving on as fast as you, I guess. Sorry, I have stalked you and maybe made a lot of mess. I will stop as I am trying harder. I always pray to God to make it easier and easier as the time goes.

Two months and 11 days after we broke up.

19-10-17.

 

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Uncreative Post

It’s been so many days since I posted something here. And I just realize that I was often post about friendship, because I thought that it was the main issue of myself a few months ago :). So now, I am third term student! Yeah, okay let me interpret myself, am I really get into this major or I am just flowing with what is happening in my life. Absolutely don’t know.

I am in the middle of writing my paperwork(s). There are so many! Believe me, and I haven’t done one of five papers, lol, #givemesomestrengths. In few next days, we will welcome new year. Oh my God, it is so fast how a year just passes like the wind. Many resolutions of mine for next year, and I am also gonna turn to be 19, I am growing older yeah :(. Some major resolutions are I want to be accepted in a scholarship or an exchange program, also I want to run my own business too. Wish me luck.

I really don’t know, how my academic report will show off this term, because this term is different from previous terms -when I studied and did my tasks all of the time. I am more often to go here and there (organization business -to widen my connections). I hope my academic report will not be that different from before, still come out like my expectations. Amin.

In the end of this post, be happy guys :)! I hope I can finish these paperwork(s) before my exam week (which is next week) comes huhu :”. Kisseu :*

Emptiness of Me

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Almost forget to say “Happy Eid Mubarak” for all moslems in this world. Wish we will still feel the atmosphere of next ramadhan.
I feel so empty these days but gratefully my friends came to my home this morning. My mood turned to be so good and cheered up.
Last night I got a thing that made me very excited! He replied my message. Finally,he says that he forgives me,ya eventhough I don’t know whether it comes from his heart or not. But if you read this post, I want to say that I’m so happy because of you ♡.
And Welcome August :))♥♥ I hope we are always full of happiness,joy,love,and luck.

Into The New World

No, no it is not Girls’ Generation’s song. In this post, I will talk about “a new world” for me, I mean the next world that I’ll step on. I am a-college-student-soon-to-be, and I know that college life will not be easy even more complicated than high school life. Yeah, every step in our life must be harder, right? That’s life.

I went to a high school near my home. My high school life was very fun although there were many problems happened around me and my friends, but it made me learn many lessons. Some lessons those aren’t taught in formal school. So, will my college life be more complicated? Hahaha. I found a lot of friends when I was in senior high school that I didn’t know before. They were from many schools in Semarang also other cities. I was a cold girl, I didn’t care about friendship because I believed they will come to us if they are fated to be our friends haha. But my opinion about that changed after I got into 11th grade. We should seek our friends, friendship is made. Yeah there is a fated friendship too, but maybe you should wait a long time for it. Also I realized that I was too quiet and conceited in front of them, oh my god that was because I was too shy to interact with others.

As I’ll get into a university which is far from my city, it takes 3 hours to go there, I know that I should adapt again with so many people from many areas in Indonesia. I should live far from my family. I should adapt with the lesson and tasks. I should adapt with the environment where I’m living in. And etc etc. There are no my friends, I should make a friendship again. It would be different if I chose a university in my city, I would meet my previous friends again, should not live far from my family, and should not adapt with the environment, maybe just with the lessons and tasks. But I don’t regret, em there is a little, since my mother says it is needed to make me more mature than now. I’m being so mellow nowadays, imagining how will I live far from my family, and what if I have no friends there. It makes me afraid for sure. But I also believe that a better life is waiting for me. Everyone must have experienced this way too, right? So, I’ll overcome my fears and face everything in front of me.

FIGHTING!

Hanya Sebuah Puisi Biasa

Oleh : Jasmine Nadhira L.

arti-persahabatan

Kita yang masih sederhana.

Akan menuju bahtera dunia.

Mempelajari bahwa hidup tidak selalu tentang kesenangan.

Mempelajari bahwa hidup tidak selalu tentang kebahagiaan.

Mempelajari bahwa hidup dan kehidupan tidak sesederhana yang kita bayangkan.

Akankah kita terombang-ambing, kawan?

Akankah kita tenggelam, kawan?

Akankah kita bertahan, kawan?

Senyuman.

Gelak tawa.

Canda.

Cemberut.

Tangisan.

Masih terukir di memoriku.

Masih terukir di memorimu.

Masih terukir di memori kita.

Genggaman tangan.

Teriakan semangat.

Melecutkan semangat untuk terus maju.

Maju dan berlari mengejar impian dan asa.

Maju dan bergerak mengejar apa yang harus dikejar.

Maju dan melangkah ke dalam kehidupan berwarna.

Kawan, kita disini.

Kau mungkin berubah.

Aku mungkin berubah.

Tapi memori tak akan pernah berubah.

Tapi memori tak akan pernah berbohong.

Jika dinding dingin bercerita.

Entah berapa ribu cerita yang ia tuturkan.

Jika kursi keras bercerita.

Entah berapa banyak memori terkenang.

Jika meja kayu bercerita.

Entah seberapa keras suara yang ia keluarkan.

Aku mungkin tak akan dapat mengingat segalanya.

Aku mungkin tak akan dapat merekam segalanya.

Aku mungkin tak akan dapat menceritakan segalanya.

Namun pikiran terdalam sudah menyimpannya.

Namun relung hati sudah menguncinya.

Hidup tidak akan selalu manis seperti gula.

Hidup tidak akan selalu indah seperti bunga.

Hidup tidak akan selalu lurus seperti garis.

Bukan hambatan.

Bukan rintangan.

Kawan, ingatlah genggaman tangan kita.

Kawan, ingatlah gelak canda tawa kita.

Impian, harapan, keinginan.

Semangat juga keyakinan.

A Night to Remember

It was really a night that should be remembered. Like what I said before, all memories that we have. I took some pictures with my friends, but unfortunately I came a little bit late so yeah, I couldn’t take much pics :”(. But here are some that I have! 🙂

8015with Dian Puspitasari, a very talkative yet lovely friend! :p

8018I looked so chubby yeah :(, my LOVELY CLASSMATES ❤

8010with Dian Ardiningrum, a very wise girl and my best friend, WW

I hope we can hang out together as soon as possible, after you guys do your test and I finish my registration. ❤ love you guys!

See you on next post and I will show you my annual book 🙂

The Place…Where All Memories are Saved

Seriously, I’m gonna cry while writing this post. I really love my class, SCRE4AM. Science Four Team. I had posted a picture of my class together a year ago, after we won football match in my school, and became a champion.

This class, that I love so much have been saving so many memories of us. Me and my friends. Sad, shameful, tragic, happy, exciting, and many more. I even can’t describe it by words.

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It was taken on January 2013 when we were in Bali for study tour. Time flies so fast 😥

Only by seeing a photo, we can know that many stories are saved there. Even the saddest memory could be meaningful.

The another 35 students who had taught me about what friendship is, about how to interact with others, how to laugh and smile, how to find our happiness. Thanks for everything 🙂

At first I didn’t expect that this class would be -the class that I love the most- because when I entered the class for the first time, I found the students were so crazy and funny. And, I’m a serious girl who didn’t like to kid. But time flies yet teaches me, joking is needed to refresh our mind. Hehehe. Of course, we should know the time when to joke or be serious.

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These Two Years Have Passed Beautifully for Me.

Whether Bad or Good Memory, It’s Still Memorable.

I REALLY LOVE YOU GUYS.