Taken on March 2014
Taken on June 2014
Taken on May 2015
Do you see the differences?
Honestly, that title represents the content of this post. Why? I want to share, that I often feel insecure. I know that most people feel the same too. But, it is so hard for me to ignore that thought because I make a big gap between me and the others, so they can’t get closer to me. Why? I have my own reason. Because I am the type of person who always make shield before something hurts me, even in the end, it doesn’t hurt me. Let me put it in easy picture, I am difficult to trust people because I don’t want once I trust them, they will betray me, so I choose not to trust them, get it? I choose not to have any close relationship rather than being hurt in the end, eventhough I do not know, I will get hurt or not. I am scared that I will get hurt. I choose to pass straight way than “mountainous” way because I have no confidence to pass it, there are so many things which make me worry.
I hope I can read people’s mind, so I know what exactly they think about me. But unfortunately, I can’t, or may be I should get into faculty of psychology? LOL. I think that is why, people are the most mysterious matter in this world. You can change people by affecting their feeling, whether from good to be bad or vice versa. People are not consistent, they live based on their interest and their feeling. Once their interests lead them, they will ignore their feeling.
My very first post on 2015, yeah! It’s been a while since I created this blog. My aim was to share what I love, that is about Korea because I do love it. My viewers increased day by day but since I rarely post about something interesting, I think my viewers are decreasing lol, but I hope it will increase again :). My aim for creating this blog was not to have a lot of viewers, yet I just want to write what I feel, both exciting and sad things.
This posting will be a lil bit cheesy since I will express about what I feel about friendship. Huh, I guess I wrote a lot about friendship, why? Because for me it is a kinf of relationship that can’t be expected. It can be randomly changed and moved. I never really believe my friends, but since years ago, I think, I started to believe my friends.
Some people are not included on those photos, I consider them as my friends. And I think, I don’t really care whether they consider me as close friend or best friend. I know they care to me and it is enough. I know they don’t leave me when I am suffering. I love you all and I trust you.
I miss you guys, really miss you. I wish I could turn back the time, when we were in high school and could share our laugh. Even I know probably most of you don’t want to go back haha. I miss our quality time, when we can plan and go together easily without have to find the exact time, mostly one of us can’t join, because the different schedule. We are growing up and people say we couldn’t share jokes which are not important or do fool and weird things. But, since we are friends, I think we can. Thanks for fulfilling my days these years. Meet and know you all is one of things in this world that I should be really grateful for, until now.
We go to different paths now, half of us start to find another life, which is more exciting. Find new friends and new life. Unconsicously leaving the others, start to change the priority among the friendship. No problem, I will try to accept it, because of my belief that people change, maybe I change too eventhough I don’t realize it. But I wish that although now you guys are not the same as the past, you guys can still remember firendship that we had, we have, and hopefully we will have until forever.
No, no it is not Girls’ Generation’s song. In this post, I will talk about “a new world” for me, I mean the next world that I’ll step on. I am a-college-student-soon-to-be, and I know that college life will not be easy even more complicated than high school life. Yeah, every step in our life must be harder, right? That’s life.
I went to a high school near my home. My high school life was very fun although there were many problems happened around me and my friends, but it made me learn many lessons. Some lessons those aren’t taught in formal school. So, will my college life be more complicated? Hahaha. I found a lot of friends when I was in senior high school that I didn’t know before. They were from many schools in Semarang also other cities. I was a cold girl, I didn’t care about friendship because I believed they will come to us if they are fated to be our friends haha. But my opinion about that changed after I got into 11th grade. We should seek our friends, friendship is made. Yeah there is a fated friendship too, but maybe you should wait a long time for it. Also I realized that I was too quiet and conceited in front of them, oh my god that was because I was too shy to interact with others.
As I’ll get into a university which is far from my city, it takes 3 hours to go there, I know that I should adapt again with so many people from many areas in Indonesia. I should live far from my family. I should adapt with the lesson and tasks. I should adapt with the environment where I’m living in. And etc etc. There are no my friends, I should make a friendship again. It would be different if I chose a university in my city, I would meet my previous friends again, should not live far from my family, and should not adapt with the environment, maybe just with the lessons and tasks. But I don’t regret, em there is a little, since my mother says it is needed to make me more mature than now. I’m being so mellow nowadays, imagining how will I live far from my family, and what if I have no friends there. It makes me afraid for sure. But I also believe that a better life is waiting for me. Everyone must have experienced this way too, right? So, I’ll overcome my fears and face everything in front of me.