Honestly, that title represents the content of this post. Why? I want to share, that I often feel insecure. I know that most people feel the same too. But, it is so hard for me to ignore that thought because I make a big gap between me and the others, so they can’t get closer to me. Why? I have my own reason. Because I am the type of person who always make shield before something hurts me, even in the end, it doesn’t hurt me. Let me put it in easy picture, I am difficult to trust people because I don’t want once I trust them, they will betray me, so I choose not to trust them, get it? I choose not to have any close relationship rather than being hurt in the end, eventhough I do not know, I will get hurt or not. I am scared that I will get hurt. I choose to pass straight way than “mountainous” way because I have no confidence to pass it, there are so many things which make me worry.
I hope I can read people’s mind, so I know what exactly they think about me. But unfortunately, I can’t, or may be I should get into faculty of psychology? LOL. I think that is why, people are the most mysterious matter in this world. You can change people by affecting their feeling, whether from good to be bad or vice versa. People are not consistent, they live based on their interest and their feeling. Once their interests lead them, they will ignore their feeling.